I can’t pull myself

I can’t pull myself out of this rut... I’m trying so hard to. Taking a break won’t help, I’ve tried it. It’s not that I don’t enjoy streaming anymore, I really really do. My content has just majorly fallen off. It’s my cptsd causing the issues I’m having and it’s driving me nuts! I went from 30+ viewers to 6-9 steady ones if I’m lucky (I know that’s more than some and I understand I sound like I’m complaining about that but that’s not the main issue) I also for the first time in 6 months didn’t receive a payout. I maintained 50-80 subs before and now I can’t maintain 20. I DONT STREAM FOR MONEY but facts are im failing my channel now. When you go from where i was to where I am it feels bad man. I left my stream team due to harassment which affected my support majorly and I’ve had lower energy because of my depression (can’t help that) but I also stopped showing cleavage and don’t do drunk streams like I was... how do I get more people interested in my streams again? I wish people understood my CPTSD and stuck around more. I still chat a ton, and my main viewers that never left are great with interacting with new chatters as well. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I want to just stream without feeling judged and harassed. I want people to come back because of the person I am. I love everyone. I could care less if I never get another payout as long as I feel like people still like watching me and I don’t have people coming and going so often. Advice? Please please consider the bs in my head right now though and try to be kind because I always am to others.

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